gigs (4)

A European Tour-So whats it like?


Stand at the very edge of the cliff.Feel the fear of the unknown,a sense of dread even.Steel yourself-Step off...

You can't see them beneath the clouds, but I can assure you there are people you've never ever met,perfect strangers,holding their hands out,far below in foreign lands.They will catch you,shelter you,feed you..I earned a few mad stacks whilst touring Europe, but this knowledge is far more precious than gold.

      So yeah,I was scared tell you the truth-it was like a personal challenge to do my first tour alone-what if the Bellybus broke down-I have no breakdown insurance,cant speak the language,no one to help..what if I get mugged?what if my health fails? what if I lose my satnav? and on and on..dunno about you when facing the unknown, but my mind delights in furnishing me with ever increasingly lurid technicolour fantasies of all that could go wrong.I should have recognised how things might actually turn out when,out of the blue, Steve 'Leadfoot' Thompson comps me free ferry tickets across the English Channel, to 'help a brother out'.This is the first example of how people will respond to my situation, for reasons that, for me, still remain unclear.What I do know is that I felt the same way with Bob Log when I met him on his tour-if he'd have said to me "John I need to travel 50 miles to buy a plectrum" I'd have driven him happily.

          So the tour kicks off at The Chambers,Kent.Despite it being midweek the turnout is pleasing-with several cigarboxnation members in attendence.The gig goes well,the first of the tees n' cd's start getting sold and obviously I comp Leadfoot a tee, cd n' stickers as a thank you.

          I go back to my mate DJ Hillfunks' gaff-my regular hang out when in these parts.The next day mid morning I board the Ferry and leave England.Watching the White cliffs of Dover as you depart for foreign lands always elicits an emotive effect for any Englishman.I feel like ringing Mrs.Belly but at that thought an unexpected lump forms in my throat so I leave the phone in my pocket.

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         Pretty soon I disembark and cruise (on the right!) via France to Ziggys bar in Kortrijk,Belgium.I am offered a bed for the night by the bar owner but as I set up the Blaublues Festival Crew turn up.They inform me that after the gig they will escort me back to their house where I can reside during the 6 dates I will be playing in their country.Wow! and heres me thinking I'd be living like a tramp in the Bellybus for 16 days.I've been on the road 2 days and been offered at least one bed each night without fail.

         The gig goes well enough,I collect my dosh and follow the Blaublues Festival crew to a rather pleasant home in a rather pleasant suburb, where I am sheltered, fed,have my clothes washed and folded,and am generally looked after beautifully.Each night the guys pull on their Hollowbelly tour tees and hump my gear,even magically delivering a PA system to gigs that dont have one.The sound dude donates his equipment free of charge, and even turns up at one of the gigs to operate it.When one of my harps fail I am driven to a blues harp players house,where he lends me one as a spare-nothing is too much trouble.Patrick takes photos at gigs and mails them to my email address each night.The guys even make a round trip of 160 miles to support me at my last Belgium gig in Brussels.

         Each gig is very different-sometimes a young crowd,sometimes an older crowd-sometimes a bar,pub,club.Luckily the reception is always the same and the cd's and tees sell steadily each night.Its interesting to witness people in different cities laughing at the same between-song jokes, now I witness them laugh at the same jokes in different countries.People are the same wherever you go I guess.When I slag off the international bankers during the introduction to 'She dont love me no more' they laugh knowingly-they know the score- in any country, the truth is the truth.

          One day I'm checking the oil in The Bellybus outside Patricks house when I see a cop car turn into the street-it takes a wrong turn but I instinctively know they're looking for me.I decide to  seek refuge in the house but I can see them coming after doing a u turn..they just wanna know who I am and what I'm doing so its no trouble,although I feel a little embarrassed that my scruffy foreign presence has bought the law to my hosts door.

        The gigging is hardcore-the europeans want you to play say two 45 minute sets at least-I cant quite believe anyone would want to listen to me for 10 minutes,let alone that amount of time.On Sunday its an afternoon gig,so it feels like I have a night off-Patrick asks me not for the first time if I'd like to accompany him to his local bar-I am introduced to the locals and much to my embarrassment they play Long Road over the sound system.I start drinking whiskey and of course its Europe-no small measures here like in the UK-its like half pints,pretty soon I'm pissed as all hell and of course the drinks just appear from nowhere into the early hours-I never recall actually buying anything-I mention my favourite song of all time is Shes Lost Control by Joy Division,I go to the loo and when I come out they've put it on the sound system-I start doing an Ian Curtis dance and I couldnt give a **** who's watching-I'm really too drunk to care.9353756084?profile=original

                 Well it's a week into the tour when I leave for Amsterdam-the Belgian boys tell me I'll get stopped by the Man again cos I'll be driving on the main drugs route out of Holland.I pull into a truck stop at 2am after playing Brussels and sure enough a young cop comes across,shines a torch and asks the usual questions- fortunately,he seems quite impressed when I tell him I'm on tour and I ask him if its legal for me to kip there-he says its no problem, so the encounter turns out quite good cos at least I know I'm not doing owt illegal by sleeping there.

         Wake up, make meself porridge and coffee in the Bellybus.                                                                 Get to Amsterdam and sit down in the promoters loft apartment-I have a day and night off-my first.I call home-its my 14 year old and she's crying-her best mates dad threw himself under a train-he was 36.So my tears and snot fall onto the wooden floor and the promoter will think I'm insane when she gets back from the shops.I clean myself up.I can't get my daughters friend out of my mind-I really like the kid,shes always sleeping over at our gaff and I can't make it better.I can't fix it.I'm gutted tell you the truth.I dedicate one of the new songs 'Save your tears for the living' to his memory in the next few shows.I dunno whether its tiredness but I remain haunted and sort of fragile for days.It hangs on me like an invisible, gossamer thin shroud.I sit in a park midmorning in Amsterdam just staring.The dog walkers seem like cardboard cut outs,or figures from a painting by L.S.Lowry.The grey blanket-like sky is fitting.A hollow man on a bench.Disengaged.

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The Dutch gigs go well,I meet several people in Holland who have travelled three hours to see the show.I drive east and again I am housed by the owner of The Crowbar,who's boyfriend is an excellent cook and delights in making me vegetarian food.I actually have 2 days off and so, midmorning, off I roam to enjoy walking around Groningen.I inadvertently turn a corner and I'm in the red light district,near naked women are selling themselves in shop windows in broad daylight.I thought they only did this in Amsterdam.You learn something new every day I guess.I am relieved to get back onto mainstreet.Up to now all I've seen of Europe is a stage with red lights,followed by another stage with red lights,night after night, so its nice to get out and about and act like a tourist-see daylight,breathe smokeless air,sit by a canal,have a coffee,that kinda thing.

                   The next country is Germany.Again my promoter turns perfect host,I stay in his apartment,leave The Bellybus parked up outside as he drives me to each venue.You can tell he's been around bands as he says all the right things-leaving me alone 30 minutes before showtime,sending me backstage to cool off/calm down after the performances, he sells the merch for me and shoves the loot in my hands.The shows go down great and the last performance of the tour is at the Heartbreak Hotel-   9353757264?profile=original                  an uber tiny venue,no pa,I can only fit on the shelf like stage by jamming the kick drum against the strippers pole and sitting on an upturned beer crate-yep this is rock n roll and I like it,like it,yes I do.Some folk have travelled all the way from Berlin to catch the gig,others have followed me from last nights show.My cd case is empty.Having no show the next day, I go mental..its supposed to be therapeutic but afterwards I feel drained backstage and feel like I'm gonna have some sorta breakdown.The comedown is slow.All I can do is stare at the floor.My tee is soaking and when I move, it sticks cold and clammy to my skin.

           And so it ends, and despite being tired I know for sure I'll be back.The next day I drive 600 miles across 4 countries to get back to my girls.Back in England it feels great giving my mrs some mad stacks and I feel useful for once,instead of a middle aged, useless, burnt out ****.I feel a new found confidence and most importantly of all,I have rediscovered something I'd forgotten beneath all the ugly 'news' that we get force fed in the media-I am reminded that humans are wonderful.That they would exhibit such kindness toward a stranger,catch me,feed me,shelter me,even clothe me.Like I said at the beginning dear reader-that discovery is more precious than gold.

                   HB.

A heartfelt thank you to Esther,Dawn and Joe (Holland),Jurgen,Patrick and the rest of the Blaublues crew (Belgium) and TVT (Germany).

          

        

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The Bellybus

Hi peeps,

                Thought you might be interested in having a butchers at my 'tour bus'-I didnt want to clog up the nation with pics of a motor so I've placed them here.You can follow developments as the work on her continues throughout Spring 2011.

            Its a 2003 VW T4-they are used as surf buses around these parts and campervans too.It has only 45k on its 2.5 turbodiesel engine and believe me I was lucky to get it-they are like gold dust, especially in this condition.Being a family man, the Bellybus will be dual purpose-a rock roll seat/bed will be installed in the rear so the kids can travel when the old rusty Rover car eventually falls to pieces.

Pic 1-heres the Bellybus as was when bought-a regular panel van..

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and heres a pic with the side windows installed-I had them limo tinted so peeps cant see any gear I might be carrying in the back-

9353728266?profile=originalOn this third pic you can see the other side window also.With the tailgate open you can see I've not done anything to the inside yet-the wood panels and blue carpet were the previous owners work.I've just cheered it up a bit for now by sticking a few set lists from recent gigs up and chucking a few cushions in to sit on..I carry a sleeping bag under the drivers seat just in case..so far the Bellybus has taken me to gigs in Birmingham,Kent,London and across the sea to Belgium-at the wheel it feels like a family car-nice n smooth and not noisy at all..it drives with all the efficiency one would expect from a German vehicle..dubtastic ;o)  

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So what next? well I need to remove the wood panels and insulate, remove the carpet (come on- carpet just aint rock n roll!) I'd like to have it wood everywhere,with gig posters and the like-kinda like a Bluesmans' wood cabin on wheels! I toyed with the idea of having a pic of Eric Clapton on the floor..heh heh..wipe your converse here.Anyway, this next pic is from some dudes T4 I found on the interweb-he's removed the ceiling panels and put wood in- like I want it-the ceiling is very cool but the rest of its a bit 'neat' for my taste-plus is that carpet I see on the walls..Noooo! still, you get the idea..well, seeing as I'm pants at woodwork I reckon Juju will be getting a call!

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 Well thats it for now peeps-I'll update as the Bellybus develops over the coming months.Cheers, HB

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UPDATE-MARCH-

             Well I've been busy stripping out the Bellybus and adding insulation to make it more comfortable when I ever need to kip in the bus-unfortunately my dream of having Juju fit out the inside is not to be as he is inundated with guitar orders and has a kitchen to build, so its down to yours truly.I am taking my inspiration for the interior from the cover of my album and am using hessian to carpet the walls-its cheap too-I'll be going for a mild rat type look (and believe me, with my woodworking skills its just as well!)  hessian/distressed gig posters on walls etc..

              Anyway,heres a few pics-this really is the boring bit..insulating/cutting panels and so on..rear wheel arch is covered in flashing tape to quieten road noise..

9353730480?profile=originalmore insulation in the roof space-silver backed bubblewrap-

9353731663?profile=originalI've made doorcards and panels from 3.6mm ply-heres the doorcard for the rear tailgate sitting in me garage-as you can see I got my mate Bansky to decorate it  lol   

9353731275?profile=originalbit more exciting/fun than the generic grey one anyroad.

Ok dudes-more updates soon..

UPDATE APRIL-

         Ok peeps the rear seat is in,and I've got all the hessian where I want it-begun to stick up posters and stuff-heres a few pics-

9353732074?profile=originalThis heres a close up of the 'mojo hole'-a take on honesty windows from strawbale eco houses if you will-I put in a used (knackered) bluesharp, a glass slide and a used plectrum.9353732473?profile=originalI really like the roof cos it cost me nowt-I just reversed the original panels! It added no extra weight-I was gonna put in thin tongue and groove but it weighed  a considerable amount and you'd pay for that at the pumps, so I decided against it-plus these hardboard panels give that ratty shed look I wanted.9353732653?profile=originalseat down into the bed position-king size-nice!9353733101?profile=originalgotta dash peeps-more pics later..

UPDATE MAY-

floor getting installed today-it might look fancy but its just 12mm outdoor grade ply and I varnished it 3 times-might not last  years n years but of course I have the option to lay a harder wearing floor on top at a later date if I feel the need.I've put 2mm of neoprene rubber strip all around the edges to cut down on the possibility of squeaks where wood meets wood or metal-what with the bus moving and all that.Left a little space in case of expansion due to heat also.It fits nice, but dont zoom on this photo or you'll see how bloody awful my woodworking 'skills' are!!

9353732883?profile=originalok you zoomed didnt you?! DIDNT YOU?!!!

right next,so heres the riser that goes under the rear seat and houses the rear 6x9 speakers-I found a tea chest on the local dump-as you know, they have stencils sprayed on from being shipped all over the world and I thought I'd take it apart and make panels out of them.All the stencils are genuine apart from the Hollowbelly one which I added then sanded slightly to match it with the others..

9353733460?profile=originalso here it is in situ just to give you an idea-I've installed the floor and the riser is just sitting there unglued for now-seems prudent to ensure the speakers work before I stick the panel in.. I sprayed the speakers covers matt brown as they were brand new, then knocked em back a bit with sandpaper-the 2 rusty metal bands in the centre of the panel are those metal strips that hold the tea chest together.I used them to hide the join between the different panels, as well as add a bit more grunge..

9353733298?profile=originalthe opposite wall panel now looks pretty boring so Im on the lookout for a few more tea chests-alternatively I may leave it so I have more space for future gig posters as and when they arrive..

ok thats it for now peeps-I'll get back when I next do something else-the step probably..

      July/August-ok so heres the step and riser going in-I used the offcuts from the free tea chests for the riser and also the rusty metal strips from the tea chest edges to match the pattern under the rear seat.The actual step is the same 12mm marine grade ply..oh and I used the 'Hollowbelly Punkblues' stencil I used on the cd flightcase-just sprayed it with black car spray,then white over the top..and Bobs yer uncle as we say in the north.

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the lights are coming on nice...

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tales from a long road..

Its 1972, I'm around eleven years old- I'm in a working mans' club somewhere in the north and we'd just played a set.This particular night we get told not to come out of the dressing room during the next performance as it was unsuitable for kids to see.So of course I sneak out onto the balcony.I remember peering down at the stage.I can still see the scene now in my minds eye.Theres this woman singer on stage-she is gorgeous-long blonde hair, full lips,long lashes-a skintight silver dress that leaves nothing to the imagination.Damn shes hot.I may be eleven but-well, you know.

After a number she asks which guy would like to come onstage and kiss her-the crowd are going crazy "ME! NO ME!!!" eventually she chooses some jammy bugger and up he goes-man I bet he cant believe his luck-the kiss turns into a full blown snog and everyone is drunk and cheering and all that.All I can think about is-I wish it was me.Well the guy goes back triumphantly into the audience and the sexy blonde starts singing her next number-she starts stripping-oh man-this gonna be great.Nobody has spotted the wide eyed kid on the balcony-my heart starts to race- off come her over the elbow gloves, singing all the while..off comes the hair-uh oh-out come the plastic boobs-oh shit! the fake lashes get peeled off and discarded..well by the time she gets to the last chorus 'she' is a short haired,gravel voiced man-aarrgh!! holy cow!-I cant believe it and judging by the noise, the crowd weren't expectin it either.Sheesh-I always wonder what the guy from the audience must have felt like and also marvelled at the fact that the tranny didn't get decked-it was a northern working mens club after all-it sure as shit wasn't Madam Jojo's in Soho.

Well I'm just remembering some of the gigs I played as a kid you understand.Self indulgent I know but what the hell.

Laters..HB

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the romance of the road..

5 hour drive to the gig-the satnav proves an invaluable investment-certainly beats trying to drive thro the west end of London with a map on your lap like last time..load time 6pm..cool venue-that British 'smell of pub' as you walk in-not too big,not too small-monster pa with bass bins you could walk into.Sound check.Jonny (Honkeyfinger) arrives fresh from the London train and soundchecks-looks really weird seein ol' Honkey playin thro my gear-sounds awesome mind.The owner asks if we're going out-we wonder why he asks until he thrusts some flyers into our hands!-so honkeyfinger n' hollowbelly find themselves wandering incongruously through a seaside town handing out flyers like we're in Ibiza an' trying to stay a while longer..We end up drinkin guinness in a bar -Jonny knows the owner.We drift back to the venue-at 10pm there are 5 people there and I'm one of 'em.I resign myself to playin the gig everyones played at one time or another-but at 11.15 it starts to fill-I play to say 50 or so-its about a third full-they cheer an I have to go back on at the end of me set and do another-I play ' I think Im coming home' as an encore-very very warm reception.The place finally fills as the beer festival crowd move in from downtown and Honkeyfinger hits the stage-the crowd dance like crazed forest imps as honkey conjoures up his sonic skronk magic from his plethora of pedals and blues detritus-superb.The owner apologises about it not being full when I went on, but hey, thems the strokes for the support.I go upstairs to crash about 3am.-the noise from the streets below has to be heard to be believed-I lie butt naked an sweatin on a matress that feels like it has rocks instead of springs in it-some guy I dont know is snoring on a matress on the other side of the room-sleep impossible-female shrieks,male threats, the sound of breaking pint glasses, car horns all rise up thro the 3rd floor window from the street below.Sodom and gomorah soundtrack..I lie there reflecting on humanity and the romance of being on the road (!) Dawn breaks I sleep-at 6am I get up feelin absurdly refreshed,resolving to make a move-pack up me gear, get paid and as Honkeyfinger sleeps the owner gets me to sign the wall alonside the other bands signatures from past gigs-most of whom I recognise-the punkblues scene is a small one for sure..satnav my way home way out west and crash into bed, wake up 3pm stinkin stale and have a shower..ahhh the romance of the road boys, the romance..
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