Its 1972, I'm around eleven years old- I'm in a working mans' club somewhere in the north and we'd just played a set.This particular night we get told not to come out of the dressing room during the next performance as it was unsuitable for kids to see.So of course I sneak out onto the balcony.I remember peering down at the stage.I can still see the scene now in my minds eye.Theres this woman singer on stage-she is gorgeous-long blonde hair, full lips,long lashes-a skintight silver dress that leaves nothing to the imagination.Damn shes hot.I may be eleven but-well, you know.

After a number she asks which guy would like to come onstage and kiss her-the crowd are going crazy "ME! NO ME!!!" eventually she chooses some jammy bugger and up he goes-man I bet he cant believe his luck-the kiss turns into a full blown snog and everyone is drunk and cheering and all that.All I can think about is-I wish it was me.Well the guy goes back triumphantly into the audience and the sexy blonde starts singing her next number-she starts stripping-oh man-this gonna be great.Nobody has spotted the wide eyed kid on the balcony-my heart starts to race- off come her over the elbow gloves, singing all the while..off comes the hair-uh oh-out come the plastic boobs-oh shit! the fake lashes get peeled off and discarded..well by the time she gets to the last chorus 'she' is a short haired,gravel voiced man-aarrgh!! holy cow!-I cant believe it and judging by the noise, the crowd weren't expectin it either.Sheesh-I always wonder what the guy from the audience must have felt like and also marvelled at the fact that the tranny didn't get decked-it was a northern working mens club after all-it sure as shit wasn't Madam Jojo's in Soho.

Well I'm just remembering some of the gigs I played as a kid you understand.Self indulgent I know but what the hell.

Laters..HB