Today's text "Mark 10:25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." go me thinking about all the things that get in my way in my desire to follow God.
My burden comes from going back to school as I felt called to do. Now, three years since completing my schooling, I am not finding jobs in my profession and only barely working in the area of my calling.
The first year I got a position after months of searching, but was cut for budgetary reasons at the end of a year. After another round of job hunting for four months I ended up working as a temp. that turned into a full time-full pay position, but I wasn't completely qualified so I lost my position at the end of the year again. As I said above, I have found a position, but it is barely in my called profession.
My struggle has been this question: "If God called me to this profession, why isn't He providing me with work in this profession?"
After I was cut for budgetary reasons and didn't find a job, I fell into a pseudo-depression - or maybe better said spiritual depression. I never rejected God, but I was pretty angry and ignored Him. Now, after a year or so I am realizing that maybe I haven't been holding up my end of the bargain, but when I pray it feels kind of empty. I want a close relationship with God again, but I don't know how to start again.
Any verses would be welcomed - I just feel a little lost.