- A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar.
“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.” When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?” The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
“The gay waiter says, “...I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ that guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.” The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?” the fella proudly replies, “‘Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!’”
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fella’s on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you guys call yours?” The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD, because Quality is Job One.” “Then he adds, “Have you driven a Ford lately?” The guy next to him then says, “I call mine CHEVY…..’Like a Rock!’ “And gives a wink!
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, “The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer.” The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why Secret?”
The cowboy says, “Because it’s ‘STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN
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LOLs.
lol
-An Ontarian, an Albertan, and a Newfie are running from the cops. They run into an alley and see a pile of sacks, which they decide to hide in. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the Ontarian in it. The Ontarian goes "meow!" and the cops go "Ah, it's just a bag full of cats." They kick the bag with the Albertan in it, and he goes "woof!" and they're like, "OK, dog in a bag, whatever." Then they kick the bag with the Newfie in it, and he goes "potato!"
Newfie walks into the store and asks for 10 condoms ..
store owner says " we dont serve Newfies here . "
Newfie says " how'd ya know i was a Newfie ? "
store owner says .." this is a hardware store " .
Newfie walks into the drug store and walks up to the counter where a very frustrated young lady is busy doing her thing.. The Newfie asks , can I have 12 condoms miss.....the young lady still very much frustrated replies...DON"T YOU MISS ME!....ok says the Newfie.....better give me 13.
Cowgirl walks into a drug store and asks for ten condoms. Druggist counts out 10 condoms on the counter
and says " that'll be $5 , plus tax "
Cowgirl replies, "forget the tacks , he'll just tape em on "
Cowgirl walks into a drug store and asks for ten condoms. Druggist counts out 10 condoms on the counter and asks, "Do you want a sack with that?"
Cowgirl replies, "Nah, he aint that bad lookin;."