Get Used to Disappointment

This blog post is part self-motivational speech. If I am honest about myself, I know that I love to learn new things and understand things fully but actually finishing a project is not my strong suit. Sometimes I like to see all the lights turn green before I leave my driveway. It's really dumb when you put it into words like that.

Sometimes the pursuit of knowledge comes at the expense of actually putting that knowledge to work and learning about the how the theoretical becomes the actual - "where the rubber meets the road", so to speak. Part of that is because I fear the perfectionist that resides inside me. I can be very critical (and at the same time objective). It isn't going to be perfect just because it's "my kid". I think part of that is because I grew up with a very negative mother. Her unspoken philosophy was "blessed are the pessimistic, for they shall not be disappointed". Disappointment can hurt.

Well, as the Dread Pirate Roberts said in the great movie "The Princess Bride":

487fc80fcba99e217e96f0fa66f6987dfee772fa4808d9d169f02d9b754048b0.jpg

Disappointment is part of life with imperfect people (like oneself). Your only REAL choice is: what are you going to be disappointed OVER and how often are you going to feel that disappointment? I'm 55 years old. It is time to stop being disappointed over things that turn out to be less than perfect and instead be disappointed in myself for not not making the attempt: trying to accomplish them at all. Things that I've "wanted to do" my whole life, like play guitar. And now, to make CBGs.

Yes, I'm learning a lot about the process from talking and reading, but it is time to Just Do It and learn FROM the process. (And learn to play one of those little boogers). Perfection can come on the next one....

Some people make me sick - everything they do is right, they never make mistakes, they have the perfect happy marriage, beautiful clever children destined for University, they never get ill, their perfect lives are an inspiration to us all.....

but they don't exist, they bravely create the illusion all is well, but if you got to know them and sat them down for a heart to heart it would all come out - the confused childhood, the abuse, the bad crowd the kids got in with, the medical ailments...the list would go on, everybody thinks everybody else is perfect but it's not true, the millionaire sick with worry about losing it all or his/her kids secretly smoking dope or being kidnapped for ransom....

don't look at me....after a history of bad luck, accidents, divorces, bad company and debt my final position is destined to remain as a carer for my sick mother for the foreseeable future, nothing to show for a lifetime of working except an unabated urge to keep being creative and making mistakes, and having fun doing it..! when you go you can't take anything with you, like I wrote in my most recent song ..

"but now i'll have a lot more time to further my quest,

I may not be the fastest and may not be the best,

i'll keep it to the grindstone hope it don't go away,

just doing what I'm doing and i'll live for today"

mistakes don't matter, you need them to learn by and keep going, you can't keep fretting about the past but can improve in the future, like they say the journey is the thing not the destination (-:

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Comments

robert jones June 10, 2014 at 8:31am

Common complaint of the creative
Ron "Oily" Sprague June 8, 2014 at 10:58pm

Glenn,

The whole CBG vibe revolves around found objects. Being a singer-songwriter in my spare time, I'm always on the lookout for phrases and imagery that strike me sideways, make the hairs on my neck stand up, or cause my ears to go, " WTF was THAT??!!" Your last post has this image which is, in my opinion, lyrical gold: "shooting the arrow and painting the bullseye around where it lands." Kin I borrow that, play with it some?
Slowpaw Steve T June 8, 2014 at 1:52pm

sounds interesting...! let us know when it's finished (-:
Ron "Oily" Sprague June 8, 2014 at 9:39am

Slowpaw,

Fretting About The Past: A Collection of New Songs In Old Styles.

Thank you, truly.
Jim_N June 8, 2014 at 9:02am

"Thank God for the journey." ~James Brown
Slowpaw Steve T June 8, 2014 at 8:47am

what's that Ron....."some people make me sick" or "I may not be the fastest and may not be the best.." ? (-;
Ron "Oily" Sprague June 8, 2014 at 3:52am

Steve,

Thank you! You just gave me the title for album #3...hehehehe
Slowpaw Steve T June 8, 2014 at 3:35am

Some people make me sick - everything they do is right, they never make mistakes, they have the perfect happy marriage, beautiful clever children destined for University, they never get ill, their perfect lives are an inspiration to us all.....

but they don't exist, they bravely create the illusion all is well, but if you got to know them and sat them down for a heart to heart it would all come out - the confused childhood, the abuse, the bad crowd the kids got in with, the medical ailments...the list would go on, everybody thinks everybody else is perfect but it's not true, the millionaire sick with worry about losing it all or his/her kids secretly smoking dope or being kidnapped for ransom....

don't look at me....after a history of bad luck, accidents, divorces, bad company and debt my final position is destined to remain as a carer for my sick mother for the foreseeable future, nothing to show for a lifetime of working except an unabated urge to keep being creative and making mistakes, and having fun doing it..! when you go you can't take anything with you, like I wrote in my most recent song ..

"but now i'll have a lot more time to further my quest,

I may not be the fastest and may not be the best,

i'll keep it to the grindstone hope it don't go away,

just doing what I'm doing and i'll live for today"

mistakes don't matter, you need them to learn by and keep going, you can't keep fretting about the past but can improve in the future, like they say the journey is the thing not the destination (-:
Randy S. Bretz June 6, 2014 at 10:02am

Homemade not Factory made !!
Ron "Oily" Sprague June 6, 2014 at 9:38am

There IS no perfection, whether playing or building. There is only YOU. You put yourself into whatever you DO. I don't build much, I play a lot more than I build. But not more than very many people here. I understand the crippling nature of hypercritical perfectionism. I too am approaching 55 this year. Do what you do, whenever and however you can, to the best of whatever abilities you have. There will be people who will not appreciate your efforts, or your personality, or the way you build, or the way you play. Ignore them. Because you wanna do this for only two reasons: 1) because you want / need / absolutely have to, or 2) you want to do it for someone else.

Nothing else matters,as long as your hobby doesn't hurt you or others. Yes, read, study, learn all you can. then do something with it. However you can, at whatever level works for you.

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