You Can't Sing(aka "Positively 5th Amendment")
1.You walked into the Karaoke , holding Vodka shots that you bought
Bags were hanging below your eyes, from drinking three days on the trot
You had one eye on the microphone, some comfort being sought
I held my ears , and I feared for my partner, feared for my partner for
Chorus
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you, don't you, don't you?

2. You gatecrashed someone's party, and they were being quite naive
They let you take the middle of the floor, to belt out a short reprieve
Those who couldn't make the door, were stampedin' down on me
I didnt mind , I was shouting "please kill me", shouting "please kill me" and
Chorus
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you, don't you, don't you?

3. Well ah hear you went into town with your maw, for a cup of tea and a bun
Then you took a bus, up to Sauchiehall Street, who said "busking can be fun"?
All the shoppers ran away, but I was first in line
You never learn, your'e a cat with a sore throat, cat with a sore throat , and

Chorus
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you
You can't sing , you torture everyone 'round about you, don't you, don't you?