Fender Initiates Large Scale Litigation/s.
Scottsdale, Arizona, USA - August, 2011
Fender Musical Instruments Corporation (FMIC) announced today that they have filed multiple lawsuits against a variety of companies they feel are infringing on their copyrighted use of the word "strat". A Fender spokesperson released this information on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to speak publicly about the litigation.
The Fender Stratocaster is a popular model of electric guitar used widely in the music industry.
While not a complete list, Fender intends to file cease and desist letters to the following companies or organizations:
Boeing - For their use of the name "B52 Stratofortress"
United States Department of Defense for use of the word "strategic"
Strat-O-Matic - Gaming Company
Anyone involved in the scientfic community for their use of the word "stratosphere"
Chrysler Corporation for their use of the name "Dodge Stratus"
The Fender legal team is expected to release additional company names once their have finished their research using WordHippo to find all possible offenders.
A public announcement by Fender is expected by the end of the month.
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Replies
It is comings to my attentive (please forego my Englishness, as not so perfection) you Fender maker manymanymany copies / forgeries / Clone Wars my design originale guitars. I am experience Luther 60 years, make all kinds guitars, you Strat like my design originale: Delhi-gasser. You law upset my tummy, no sleepings or intercourse manymanymany several months now. You I am hating.
Issue you. Pay money now, or friend Nigerian bank account 45356789-0000100789.
Hadda Naishte
You should taste my butterscotch Telecustard.
The headstock of my newest cigar box guitar:
From: Dr. Oily "Strat-O-Nine-Tails" Von Ashbanger
To: Fender Musical Instruments Legal Team
Dearest Sirs (or in your case, Squiers):
Your frivolous lawsuit is rapidly leading to a Made In Mexico standoff. Leo, Freddy and my father (whose nom-de-spume in the 1950's US Navy was "Fenderbender," for his hitherto unheard-of mashup of a destroyer and a mine sweeper - thus giving rise to the later mid-60's term "Mindsweeper - undoubtedly you stole the term from him) are all rolling in their graves. You actually have to use a pogrom..er, sorry, program, called "WordHippo" to litigate? Were none of you in law school taught how to spell, research, or get a pretty co-ed to do your work for you? Instead you have to enslave some poor literate animal? For shame, sirs! For shame!
You've actually caused me to set my beer down upon my Strada Coaster! How could you??!!
My outrage prompts me to immediately initiate a class-action countersuit against you for the improper spelling and usage of the words "coaster" (yes, it does indeed contain the word "caster," as your animal friend could - probably - tell you), "pop tarts" (which, when you take the pee out of it, contains the word "strato" spelled backwards - surely some kind of Satanic message - and in a children's breakfast item no less! How low do you dare stoop?!), and "Telly" (the Savalas family will undoubtedly want to hear about this).
Rest assured that our legal team will be using the latest pirated versions of "Re-Verb," "Tremble-Oh!," and "De-Lucks" to ferret out more of your tendentious thesauric chicanery - wait, you're not employing poultry, now, too, are you? Now there's a Pullet Surprise for you - and don't pretend to be shocked when our own in-house PhraseMonkey goes bananas over your use of the term "lawsuit." Oh, I can assure you, the tailors will be up in arms!
Oh, and Half an iced A.
Dr. Oily "Strat-O-Nine-Tails" Von Ashbanger
can i still go fishing with my baitcaster?
Come'on Fender, if you have to use something called 'WordHippo' to litigate, you ain't got a case.
-WY
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