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Permalink Reply by Thomas "Duck" Petry on April 15, 2013 at 3:08am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

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Permalink Reply by skuff watson on May 10, 2013 at 11:42am

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on May 11, 2013 at 1:18am

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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on May 13, 2013 at 1:59pm

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on May 13, 2013 at 4:21pm

lol

!  

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on May 13, 2013 at 10:03pm

;-)

 

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Permalink Reply by Pascal on May 17, 2013 at 10:21am

at the diner table the oldest son was shaking while he tried to tell something to his parents.

"mom, dad i have to tell you something, i am gay"

his dad looked at him in shock but said: "well thats ok son, we love you anyway"

the second son said:  "i have to admit, i am gay too"

his dad looked at him and sighed: "ah well, would have been nice if someone would like women"

"well, i do" 

the daughter said.

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on May 17, 2013 at 2:17pm

lol

 

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Permalink Reply by Seaman Jay on May 17, 2013 at 1:07pm

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."
So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times).
15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"
One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician." Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" The reply: "For three reasons.

• (1) he took a long time to answer,
• (2) he was absolutely correct, and
• (3) his answer was absolutely useless."

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on May 17, 2013 at 2:17pm

too  true

;-)

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Permalink Reply by jabes on May 30, 2013 at 2:47am

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the... builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took

her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so. Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks on time.'

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on May 30, 2013 at 2:53am

lol  .   :-D

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